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Yes! Really! A comics review entry! Really! Would I lie to you? (Don't answer that.)
Given that this is a long long LONG entry, resplendent with spoilers everywhere you look, I'm going to take the whole thing behind an LJ-cut tag. And if there's anyone out there reading this through RSS ... well, you wuz warned. Right here and now. SPOILERS AHOY for Mr Miracle, Frankenstein, Bomb Queen, Retro Rocket, American Virgin, American Way, Nextwave, Planetary Brigade, and Fallen Angel.
Mister Miracle 4 of 4 (Grant Morrison/Freddie E. Williams II)
...OK, so what the hell was THAT?
No, really, I'm entirely serious. I have absolutely no idea what happened to Shilo. More importantly, I have no idea what didn't happen to Shilo. More importantly than that, I have no idea what he remembers about what did or didn't happen. And I'm really not at all sure what succeeded and what failed with the bad guys' plan.
Frankenstein 3 of 4 (Morrison/Doug Mahnke)
Heh. Ha. Hee. Hee hee heh ho ho ho HAW! even.
All I will say about this issue is:
Frankenstein + The Bride (Yes, THAT Bride) + Bunnies + Cows + Dave Matthews Band = one seriously cracked out issue. (OK, the whole Dave Matthews thing is more implied than stated, but by page 2, you will know exactly what I mean.)
Matador 6 of 6 (Grayson/Stelfreeze)
...What the hell was THAT?
Since this is also the question that Isabel asks herself and others through the first half of the issue, I feel entirely justified in sharing this confusion. I will say that the Matador himself gets explained, and then somehow, Isabel figures out enough to be able to explain things to someone else. I do not, however, understand how what she knows leads to what happens at the end. It seems, to put it mildly, highly unlikely.
Overall, kind of ... inspirationally depressing, if you will.
American Virgin 1 of 4 (Steven T. Seagle/Becky Cloonan)
Well. Yes. Quite.
So the story, as far as I'm willing to tell, is this: Adam is a professional virgin -- that is, he's the spokesperson for virginity pledges for his parents' ministry. He's handsome, he's charismatic, he's understandably something of a sanctimonious (literally) prig and he's all bottled up, waiting for his girlfriend to return from her ministry in Africa so that they can get married and do it NOW already!
Through a series of circumstances that will have you saying, "What the hell...?" Adam winds up essentially getting raped. (Not by a man, no; that would actually not serve the purposes of the storyline. Not at this point, anyway.) And then something else awful happens in his life.
The idea is clearly to explore a particular type of American hypocrisy, and to see what happens when you're compromised through no fault of your own, and then your life collapses. Oddly, the road ahead has been, shall we say, marked with Very Large Signs -- once you know what happens in Adam's life in the first issue, you're pretty certain what's going to happen in the next three. (I will note that said certainty has been aided by teasers for this title planted in other titles, where the creators talked about the sorts of things Adam has in store for him. Which perhaps was not the brightest marketing idea.)
This is one of those titles where the execution will be everything, since the story itself has been somewhat telegraphed. Will the exectution be good enough, interesting enough, to keep you coming back? I think I'll read issue 2, in any event; more than that depends.
Bomb Queen 1-2 (Jimmie Robinson)
... My oh, my, oh my. This is one gloriously cracked out title, this is.
Basically, the story is: New Port City is run by the very talented, the very gifted, the very beautiful, the very mercurial and the appallingly explosive Bomb Queen. She arrived as one of four superheroes, if you can believe it -- Ice Queen, Scream Queen, Drama Queen and Bomb Queen -- and killed off the others to reign supreme over the city. In most of the city, she is the only criminal and will tolerate no others; however, New Port City does have free crime zones, where all the rest of the criminals do what they will to whomever they want. Tis way, she doesn't have to deal with constant rebellion in the criminal classes.
We arrive in the city in the midst of an election year. The current mayor was handpicked by Bomb Queen. (Tragically for him, she keeps arriving through his office wall and killing off -- almost, but not entirely, accidentally -- his office staff.) Another candidate is trying to run on a law and order platform, although, as his staff point out to him, the people of New Port City kind of like things the way they are, and Bomb Queen will certainly not tolerate this sort of thing very long. The candidate then comes up with a sophisticated plan, involving the importation of a superhero.
Enter Ace Justice! Ace Justice is ... very well hung. And circumcised. By the end of issue 2, you know Ace Justice is very healthy downstairs (and he's really really interested in fighting Bomb Queen if you know what I mean, and I think you do) and perhaps not all that gifted upstairs. (Purely a side note: I always wondered why, given those tights and red outer undies he wears, why people on the street didn't comment on Superman's circumcision, or lack thereof, or whether or not the Man of Steel was also the Man of Wonder. I mean, you have those very tight tights, and Superman being invulnerable, doesn't need a cup or anything like that. The other superhero guys, they wear armor down there. Canonically, in Batman's case, I believe. After all, they're mostly baseline human, with genetic adaptations here and there, but not necessarily there. But I digress.)
Seriously, this title is some incredibly cracked out fun, with interestingly acid commentary about current day politics. (Although, given the context, I suppose I ought to call it "explosive commentary.") (Sorry. Couldn't resist.) Highly recommended for people who like mature titles (boobies!) in which things get blowed up real good!
Retro Rocket 1 (Tony Bedard/Jason Orfalas)
Picked this one up by accident and decided to keep it and ... Hmm.
Just ... hmm.
Takes place in some sort of mechanized, only slightly dystopic future, in which Albuquerque is now Albaquerque (SHUDDER), and California and Arizona have become Calizona. (Purely a side note: if I'd been doing this, I'd have made it "Calzonia" and its state song would have been "Calzonia! Calzonia! What makes your big head so hard!" But then, I'm old.)
I think I'm not really the target audience for this title. It's technically all ages, but really, early adolescents, early teens would be the target. They're old enough to get into the story line, young enough to appreciate the bit with the fan. (There is, shall we say, a fan. Something hits it ... yes, THAT. In glorious technicolor, so to speak. With a lovely "Ker-SPLOOSH! ... Splort.") That said, I am curious about what happens next issue, given the spectacular way in which it ends. Mind, I'm not sure whether or not I'm curious enough to buy the next issue.
Nextwave 1-2 (Warren Ellis/Stuart Immonen)
Oh, my, oh, my, oh my.
This ... is Warren Ellis on the seriously good crack. Or at least the seriously good ale that he seems to drink at his pub all the time.
I'm sure you probably get more of the in jokes if you're more familiar with the Marvel universe. However, I'm not, and I think this title is serious fun.
I decline to discuss the plot in in any detail -- such plot as there is, anyway -- except to say that it does actually involve a dragon called Fin Fang Foom. Oh, and also, Nextwave itself is a renegade group, splitting off from H.A.T.E., the Highest Anti-Terrorism Effort, which happens to be a front for EeeeeVil. EEEEEeVil, I tell you! And the Nextwave found out about said eviltude and decided to dedicate themselves to fighting it!
Seriously, it doesn't matter if you read Marvel or not. Just go out. Buy. Read. Consume. You won't regret it.
(Have I mentioned that the letters column is called ... wait for it ... H.A.T.E.mail?)
Planetary Brigade 1 (Keith Giffen/J.M. de Matteis, Boom Comics)
For a moment, I wondered if Planetary Brigade and Bomb Queen took place in the same superhero universe, since one of the characters in the Brigade is Drama Queen. (No, really.) But, no, it's just a coincidence; this is from Boom, and Bomb Queen from Shadowline through Image.
I honestly don't know how to talk about this title. It's a superhero comic that's also a pointed sendup of superhero comics. Poor Drama Queen, for example, not the brightest bulb in the marquee ("Strumpet? Y-you think I look like some kind of ... musical instrument?") and her power is the Cosmic Caterwaul. The Purring Pussycat (no, really) seems to ... lounge around on the top of equipment a lot. Earth Goddess is a woman inhabited by the spirit of Gaia; unfortunately for this woman, Gaia gets, shall we say, roused during the spring and summer ... and it's always spring or summer somewhere on the planet. (The woman clearly has industrial strength birth control.) Third Eye is their underage psychic whose parents were demons. (You'd think this makes her a demon herself, wouldn't you? Apparently, you might be wrong. We don't know yet. It's only issue 1.) Mauve Visitor (no, Really) is an intergalactic visitor with impressive if unspecified powers. Grim Knight is ... um, well, a knight. Really. Only about 800 years too late. He's also the sidekick for Valor, the leader of this expedition -- he also had his own title for a bit, Hero Squared. The plot, such as it is, only really makes an appearance at the end of the issue, just in time for the cliffhanger. (Of course.) It is interesting enough, intriguing enough, and above all and most importantly, silly enough to make me want to get the next issue to see if it can sustain itself.
The American Way 1 of 8 (John Ridley, Georges Jeanty, Karl Story, Randy Mayor)
What if everything you knew about superheroes, super villains, and their battles was a lie fed to you by the government?
This is the premise of The American Way. The approach is more or less Astro City/Marvels -- heroes as seen from an ordinary guy's viewpoint -- with something of a twist in that the ordinary guy gets coopted into making and sustaining the presentation. And, of course, something goes catastropically bad, because otherwise, there wouldn't be a story.
Again, this is another one where the execution will be everything. It's not that the story's been telegraphed, but it would be easy to make this story head down the wrong path.
Honestly, given that it's a miniseries, I think I'll hold off and get the compilation.
Fallen Angel 3 (Peter David/JK Woodward)
And so now we know, if we didn't know before, that the angel is actually ... an angel. An actual fallen angel. We still don't know what Malachi is up to, however. I'm guessing he's not remotely what he seems, if only because he really doesn't seem to bear our angel any good will. He's also consorting with people who ... don't like her. Even a little. That said, he's explained to Mariah some, at least, of how and why Lee fell. And elsewhere in Bete Noire, Juris Doctor is explaining the ins and outs of the city to his newfound son, and his oldfound son is really not at all happy. Not surprising, given that his inheritance was yanked away at the last minute through no fault of his own.
The story is wonderfully twisty, and I really like how it's being handled. And Woodward's watercolors are ravishingly gorgeous. I wonder how on earth he finds the time to handle this; watercolor like this has to be massively timeconsuming.
And that's all for sack time this time, so until next time...
Given that this is a long long LONG entry, resplendent with spoilers everywhere you look, I'm going to take the whole thing behind an LJ-cut tag. And if there's anyone out there reading this through RSS ... well, you wuz warned. Right here and now. SPOILERS AHOY for Mr Miracle, Frankenstein, Bomb Queen, Retro Rocket, American Virgin, American Way, Nextwave, Planetary Brigade, and Fallen Angel.
Mister Miracle 4 of 4 (Grant Morrison/Freddie E. Williams II)
...OK, so what the hell was THAT?
No, really, I'm entirely serious. I have absolutely no idea what happened to Shilo. More importantly, I have no idea what didn't happen to Shilo. More importantly than that, I have no idea what he remembers about what did or didn't happen. And I'm really not at all sure what succeeded and what failed with the bad guys' plan.
Frankenstein 3 of 4 (Morrison/Doug Mahnke)
Heh. Ha. Hee. Hee hee heh ho ho ho HAW! even.
All I will say about this issue is:
Frankenstein + The Bride (Yes, THAT Bride) + Bunnies + Cows + Dave Matthews Band = one seriously cracked out issue. (OK, the whole Dave Matthews thing is more implied than stated, but by page 2, you will know exactly what I mean.)
Matador 6 of 6 (Grayson/Stelfreeze)
...What the hell was THAT?
Since this is also the question that Isabel asks herself and others through the first half of the issue, I feel entirely justified in sharing this confusion. I will say that the Matador himself gets explained, and then somehow, Isabel figures out enough to be able to explain things to someone else. I do not, however, understand how what she knows leads to what happens at the end. It seems, to put it mildly, highly unlikely.
Overall, kind of ... inspirationally depressing, if you will.
American Virgin 1 of 4 (Steven T. Seagle/Becky Cloonan)
Well. Yes. Quite.
So the story, as far as I'm willing to tell, is this: Adam is a professional virgin -- that is, he's the spokesperson for virginity pledges for his parents' ministry. He's handsome, he's charismatic, he's understandably something of a sanctimonious (literally) prig and he's all bottled up, waiting for his girlfriend to return from her ministry in Africa so that they can get married and do it NOW already!
Through a series of circumstances that will have you saying, "What the hell...?" Adam winds up essentially getting raped. (Not by a man, no; that would actually not serve the purposes of the storyline. Not at this point, anyway.) And then something else awful happens in his life.
The idea is clearly to explore a particular type of American hypocrisy, and to see what happens when you're compromised through no fault of your own, and then your life collapses. Oddly, the road ahead has been, shall we say, marked with Very Large Signs -- once you know what happens in Adam's life in the first issue, you're pretty certain what's going to happen in the next three. (I will note that said certainty has been aided by teasers for this title planted in other titles, where the creators talked about the sorts of things Adam has in store for him. Which perhaps was not the brightest marketing idea.)
This is one of those titles where the execution will be everything, since the story itself has been somewhat telegraphed. Will the exectution be good enough, interesting enough, to keep you coming back? I think I'll read issue 2, in any event; more than that depends.
Bomb Queen 1-2 (Jimmie Robinson)
... My oh, my, oh my. This is one gloriously cracked out title, this is.
Basically, the story is: New Port City is run by the very talented, the very gifted, the very beautiful, the very mercurial and the appallingly explosive Bomb Queen. She arrived as one of four superheroes, if you can believe it -- Ice Queen, Scream Queen, Drama Queen and Bomb Queen -- and killed off the others to reign supreme over the city. In most of the city, she is the only criminal and will tolerate no others; however, New Port City does have free crime zones, where all the rest of the criminals do what they will to whomever they want. Tis way, she doesn't have to deal with constant rebellion in the criminal classes.
We arrive in the city in the midst of an election year. The current mayor was handpicked by Bomb Queen. (Tragically for him, she keeps arriving through his office wall and killing off -- almost, but not entirely, accidentally -- his office staff.) Another candidate is trying to run on a law and order platform, although, as his staff point out to him, the people of New Port City kind of like things the way they are, and Bomb Queen will certainly not tolerate this sort of thing very long. The candidate then comes up with a sophisticated plan, involving the importation of a superhero.
Enter Ace Justice! Ace Justice is ... very well hung. And circumcised. By the end of issue 2, you know Ace Justice is very healthy downstairs (and he's really really interested in fighting Bomb Queen if you know what I mean, and I think you do) and perhaps not all that gifted upstairs. (Purely a side note: I always wondered why, given those tights and red outer undies he wears, why people on the street didn't comment on Superman's circumcision, or lack thereof, or whether or not the Man of Steel was also the Man of Wonder. I mean, you have those very tight tights, and Superman being invulnerable, doesn't need a cup or anything like that. The other superhero guys, they wear armor down there. Canonically, in Batman's case, I believe. After all, they're mostly baseline human, with genetic adaptations here and there, but not necessarily there. But I digress.)
Seriously, this title is some incredibly cracked out fun, with interestingly acid commentary about current day politics. (Although, given the context, I suppose I ought to call it "explosive commentary.") (Sorry. Couldn't resist.) Highly recommended for people who like mature titles (boobies!) in which things get blowed up real good!
Retro Rocket 1 (Tony Bedard/Jason Orfalas)
Picked this one up by accident and decided to keep it and ... Hmm.
Just ... hmm.
Takes place in some sort of mechanized, only slightly dystopic future, in which Albuquerque is now Albaquerque (SHUDDER), and California and Arizona have become Calizona. (Purely a side note: if I'd been doing this, I'd have made it "Calzonia" and its state song would have been "Calzonia! Calzonia! What makes your big head so hard!" But then, I'm old.)
I think I'm not really the target audience for this title. It's technically all ages, but really, early adolescents, early teens would be the target. They're old enough to get into the story line, young enough to appreciate the bit with the fan. (There is, shall we say, a fan. Something hits it ... yes, THAT. In glorious technicolor, so to speak. With a lovely "Ker-SPLOOSH! ... Splort.") That said, I am curious about what happens next issue, given the spectacular way in which it ends. Mind, I'm not sure whether or not I'm curious enough to buy the next issue.
Nextwave 1-2 (Warren Ellis/Stuart Immonen)
Oh, my, oh, my, oh my.
This ... is Warren Ellis on the seriously good crack. Or at least the seriously good ale that he seems to drink at his pub all the time.
I'm sure you probably get more of the in jokes if you're more familiar with the Marvel universe. However, I'm not, and I think this title is serious fun.
I decline to discuss the plot in in any detail -- such plot as there is, anyway -- except to say that it does actually involve a dragon called Fin Fang Foom. Oh, and also, Nextwave itself is a renegade group, splitting off from H.A.T.E., the Highest Anti-Terrorism Effort, which happens to be a front for EeeeeVil. EEEEEeVil, I tell you! And the Nextwave found out about said eviltude and decided to dedicate themselves to fighting it!
Seriously, it doesn't matter if you read Marvel or not. Just go out. Buy. Read. Consume. You won't regret it.
(Have I mentioned that the letters column is called ... wait for it ... H.A.T.E.mail?)
Planetary Brigade 1 (Keith Giffen/J.M. de Matteis, Boom Comics)
For a moment, I wondered if Planetary Brigade and Bomb Queen took place in the same superhero universe, since one of the characters in the Brigade is Drama Queen. (No, really.) But, no, it's just a coincidence; this is from Boom, and Bomb Queen from Shadowline through Image.
I honestly don't know how to talk about this title. It's a superhero comic that's also a pointed sendup of superhero comics. Poor Drama Queen, for example, not the brightest bulb in the marquee ("Strumpet? Y-you think I look like some kind of ... musical instrument?") and her power is the Cosmic Caterwaul. The Purring Pussycat (no, really) seems to ... lounge around on the top of equipment a lot. Earth Goddess is a woman inhabited by the spirit of Gaia; unfortunately for this woman, Gaia gets, shall we say, roused during the spring and summer ... and it's always spring or summer somewhere on the planet. (The woman clearly has industrial strength birth control.) Third Eye is their underage psychic whose parents were demons. (You'd think this makes her a demon herself, wouldn't you? Apparently, you might be wrong. We don't know yet. It's only issue 1.) Mauve Visitor (no, Really) is an intergalactic visitor with impressive if unspecified powers. Grim Knight is ... um, well, a knight. Really. Only about 800 years too late. He's also the sidekick for Valor, the leader of this expedition -- he also had his own title for a bit, Hero Squared. The plot, such as it is, only really makes an appearance at the end of the issue, just in time for the cliffhanger. (Of course.) It is interesting enough, intriguing enough, and above all and most importantly, silly enough to make me want to get the next issue to see if it can sustain itself.
The American Way 1 of 8 (John Ridley, Georges Jeanty, Karl Story, Randy Mayor)
What if everything you knew about superheroes, super villains, and their battles was a lie fed to you by the government?
This is the premise of The American Way. The approach is more or less Astro City/Marvels -- heroes as seen from an ordinary guy's viewpoint -- with something of a twist in that the ordinary guy gets coopted into making and sustaining the presentation. And, of course, something goes catastropically bad, because otherwise, there wouldn't be a story.
Again, this is another one where the execution will be everything. It's not that the story's been telegraphed, but it would be easy to make this story head down the wrong path.
Honestly, given that it's a miniseries, I think I'll hold off and get the compilation.
Fallen Angel 3 (Peter David/JK Woodward)
And so now we know, if we didn't know before, that the angel is actually ... an angel. An actual fallen angel. We still don't know what Malachi is up to, however. I'm guessing he's not remotely what he seems, if only because he really doesn't seem to bear our angel any good will. He's also consorting with people who ... don't like her. Even a little. That said, he's explained to Mariah some, at least, of how and why Lee fell. And elsewhere in Bete Noire, Juris Doctor is explaining the ins and outs of the city to his newfound son, and his oldfound son is really not at all happy. Not surprising, given that his inheritance was yanked away at the last minute through no fault of his own.
The story is wonderfully twisty, and I really like how it's being handled. And Woodward's watercolors are ravishingly gorgeous. I wonder how on earth he finds the time to handle this; watercolor like this has to be massively timeconsuming.
And that's all for sack time this time, so until next time...