THINGS COMICKAL AND RANDOM

Just a vaguely random moment.

Did you ever have something so firmly in your memory that nobody else you knew had seen or remembered, and then, oddly, you finally come across evidence that it was a real thing?

Patty Duke, many a long year ago, was in a made-for-TV film called "Before and After" in which she uttered the immortal line quoted in the title. Weirdly, that, and how that scene turned out, were all I remembered of the film.

And then, today, I happened to stumble across that very film while searching for something else. Alas, it's not set to allow embedding, but if you click on the link below, it should take you to the very point in the scene where she says those deathless words. If you go through the next minute or so of the film, including the brief tiff with her mother and the concern about her friend who developed anorexia, you'll see the waiter's response.

Before and After, the party scene.

I also remembered the waiter in the scene, in part because he'd been in a few other things around that time, none of which have made it to IMDB, not surprisingly, and I had a certain fondness for his ... eyebrows. (Seriously, those are some mighty mighty eyebrows, those are. He also had a very hairy chest. Seems he's aged rather well ... though, oddly, the eyebrows kind of haven't, if the photos are to be believed.)

You will need to see the beginning of part 7 to see how the party scene turns out. (SPOILER: She totally Does It with the waiter on a baby grand, after he listens to her go on a bit. I'd forgotten how totally toasted she gets.)

Wake Up 2012

I love that poster/wallpaper. Seriously.

I also wish he'd write more graphic novels; it's been, what, three years since B.P.M.? (Reviewed here.)

But still. Love that image.

(Yes, there is a forthcoming entry, mostly written. I hope and pray. But not before late tonight at the earliest.)

But thanks to a certain someone (and You Know Who You Are) (No, not the usual person, someone else), I've had this going through my head all freakin' day. No, it's not the same phrase, but it's the same sentiment, believe me.



In fact, let's see if maybe we can run with a theme here. Granted, perhaps a theme sort of north by northwest, but a theme anyway...

The below are audio only. The first one may make people want to dab a touch of gravy or possibly chocolate behind the ears; the second may make you want to visit the dentist;






I include the one below (audio only again, and audio is very very Not Work Safe) purely as an experiment. Because, frankly, cute as he may be, if someone said to me what he says in the way that he says it, my reaction 99 times out of 100 would be to say, "Um. No. No, you're not," and walk away. (The 100th time, one might be in the mood described in the first video, and he wouldn't get past the first line, so one wouldn't have to laugh in his face because he'd be ... you know, busy.) I mean, it's clear from context that this is someone he's either just met or barely knows, and he says that! Who does that? And does that approach work for anyone? (...well, OK, it probably would work for him, at least every once in a while, but that's because he's famous, charming and cute and has groupies. For your average man, probably not so much.) And I'm just wondering if that would be anyone else's reaction.



I wonder if the song below might be interpreted in a ... somewhat different way today than it was back when it was first released. For that matter, I wonder what on earth they thought he was singing about back then. And what the Dixie cup has to do with anything. (And after 24 hours of that -- whatever it was, making no assumptions -- I should think you'd know what he means!)



And now to end on a slightly lighter, sportier but still lusty note. Sadly, I couldn't find video or streaming audio for the censored version of the song below. Believe me, WAY funnier when you've got a line like "We [BEEP] and [BEEP] and [BEEP] and [BEEP] and then we [BEEP] a lot of [BEEP]" and yet it's still perfectly obvious what each and every [BEEP] says. But it'll do. Oh, and as the [BEEP] might suggest, NOT SAFE FOR WORK, CHILDREN, TENNIS BALLS OR PEOPLES OF DELICATE SENSIBILITIES! NOT EVEN A LITTLE! (NOTE: you can get a properly censored "clean version" at the band's website. Worth it, really.)

You know, it's never going to make it over here. But this does look like fun.

YouTube - BBC Sherlock Trailer:

Also, given that it's Mark Gatiss cowriting, plus Rupert Graves as a secondary character, I would expect the HoYay to be WAY over the top. No doubt there will be threesome fanfics everywhere once this is out. (Rupert's going gray, I see. Unless that's makeup, which I kind of doubt. Still very very nice looking, though. Age seems to suit him, to the extent that it even shows.)

Also, would someone tell me why that Muse song is suddenly being used as the background for everything? It isn't charting, as far as I can tell, Muse isn't hugely popular either here or there, and yet the song is everywhere. (I think it's the killer teddybearzillas, myself.)

I link to the first ones instead of embedding because two of these are are slightly smutty, the third is a contender for The Most Annoying Song Ever Recorded No Really Unspeakably Annoying, and the fourth ... well, actually will be embedded, but we'll get to that.

Christina Aguilera: Not Myself Tonight (Official Clean Version) vs Not Myself Tonight (Official Unedited Version): Apparently the difference between "Clean" and "Unedited" (by which they mean "uncensored" -- confused the heck out of me the first time I saw that) is the "no actual humping on screen ... well, OK, a little humping at the end, because what else does one do with a hot shirtless man in bed?" rule. Though, interestingly enough, girl-on-girl brief making out, a really astonishing amount of latex fetish wear and sparkly ball gags are considered "clean". Who knew?

Seriously, though, can you imagine the conversation between Xtina and her fellow video creators on the one side, and the company suits on the other, once the video was delivered?
SUITS: So, Xtina, we really like your new video. Showing how you're not yourself tonight by referencing other videos from Madonna, Beyonce, Shakira, Lady Gaga, a few others, really, very nice.
XTINA: Thank you.
SUITS: The only thing is, it may be a little ... racy for some outlets.
XTINA: It's meant to be pretty racy.
SUITS: Well, yes, but ... do you think you can deliver a "clean" version that we can give to some more PG-type outlets?
XTINA: There's ... really nothing in that video that would work for a "PG-type outlet". We'd have to shoot an entirely new video, and I'm not paying for that. Are you going to pay for it, AND not take the costs from my advance and/or royalties?
SUITS: Well ... no.
XTINA: Well, then.
SUITS: Look, maybe we can meet halfway. Can you cut out maybe the girl-on-girl stuff?
XTINA: No. Tongue kissing another girl is an integral part of the video, and it's part of the video I'm referencing. I won't cut that out.
SUITS: Well, how about the sparkly ball gag?
XTINA: Nope. That's also part of the Madonna video that I'm parodying; people won't recognize it if I don't have that.
SUITS: Well, what about all those places where you're feeling yourself up? Surely once or twice will make the point.
XTINA: That's part of those videos I'm referencing. I have to keep all of that.
SUITS: Maybe you could replace some of the latex with a thong bikini? That would be socially acceptable yet excessively revealing, too!
XTINA: EW! No, I'm not doing that. I'm more covered up in the latex than I ever would be in a bikini. Besides, that's also part of the video I'm referencing.
SUITS: (very desperate now) Well, could you at least lose all of the humping? Some of the humping? Please?
XTINA: Well ...
SUITS: PLEASE! SOMETHING, PLEASE!
XTINA: (grudgingly) ... OK, maybe most of the humping. But I have to keep the part at the end!
SUITS: (with relief) Sure, OK, that's fine. A little humping at the end won't bother anyone. I'm glad we could come to an agreement about this.
XTINA: It offends my artistic integrity to remove any of the humping, but if it will make you happy...

And in a totally unrelated, nonvideo moment ... I'm speechless. My, how the English language has changed in such a short time.

And now, we have: The Most Annoying Song In The World Ever Recorded No Really It Truly IS. Here's the thing: I was poking around the iTunes music store one night, looking for the free stuff. And it turned out that "I feel better" was the week's free music video. And the comments, they were ... vicious. I mean, even for comments on the iTunes music store. People were truly and sincerely not amused. This, of course, meant that I had to see what it was all about. After all, it would only cost me disk space, bandwidth and time, and not that much of any of the above. What could go wrong?

The song itself is by Hot Chip, which is a British electropop group. And on this particular song, they have autotuned and/or vocoded the lead singer until he has achieved that wondrous sound that manages to combine whine AND drone in a way that you had not known was possible. And then they wrap that around a video that's just ... well. Let me describe for you the action of the video. First, we start out with the introduction of a pretty boy band. (None of which, by the by, are members of Hot Chip, who do not remotely resemble a single member of that group on stage. And then they start singing and dancing, and the tweenyboppers in the audience, they go mad. (Incidentally, I think that the men that they show in the audience ARE the members of Hot Chip.) And then suddenly, there's an entrance from the back of the room. A skinny bald guy in a glowing hospital gown sails in over the audience and lands on the stage with the faux boybanders. And then ... they start aggressively singing and dancing at him! Which, you know ...sounds so effective, doesn't it? And then he decides to kill them with his electrically bad breath! (Hey, he opens his mouth, breathes out, electricity comes out and fries someone. Like I said, electrically bad breath.) One boy bander after another and another! Oh, the humanity! The final boybander not only aggressively sings and dances at the alien, but he also tears off his t-shirt so that he can aggressively flash his (admittedly impressive) abs at the audience! This works about as well as you'd think it would and he gets zapped for his troubles. But then! the alien resurrects the band, all wearing white suits with no shirts (including him, for some reason), and they're laughing and singing, and all is well. But then! From the back of the auditorium (yes, again) comes ... A Giant Floating Head! His eyes are closed, he's kind of bopping along to the music (as much as one can bop without a body), and it seems that all will be well. But no! He opens his eyes! Red rays lance out and fry two of the boy banders! The rest scream and run off the stage! (Hey, it only took getting killed once to learn their lesson about floating things coming from the back of the room.) Giant Floating Head then zaps the audience! Now they're screaming for real (except for the dead ones, of course). And then he zaps the Hot Chip logo on the stage. And then ... he smiles. The end.

And now that I've told you what happens and warned you about what the song sounds like, you don't need to see it. But just remember, if you follow this link (embedding disabled) and press that play button ... you wuz warnd.


...You followed the link, didn't you? And you pressed play. Well, I TOLD you! And now you need something else to make you forget about it.

So below ... well, more about this in the next week or so. (Someone should remind me if I forget.)



Seriously, how can you NOT like a song that builds the beginning over the tune from the "One-two-three-FOUR-five-six-seven-eight-NINE-ten-eleven-twelve" counting song from Sesame Street?

I ... have no words.



I think my mind broke at the "Adam Lambert, still too subtle" comment.

Bear-Y Curious Kevin Inaction Figure - SIGNED or UNSIGNED

Is it terribly weird of me that I kind of want one of these? Also kind of impressed that Smith is offering this on his very own website.

Seriously, kind of want one. Kind of.

All's I have to say is, the next to last paragraph is awesome. I have never seen quite that comparison before, never mind quite so ... detailed.

For some strange reason, during the odd idle moment, I've been perusing the odd music mashups. No idea why. Just because.

Below is one where the songs, strangely enough, really do work together, and the videos ... really really don't. Seriously, they almost appear not to have been made on the same planet. (Oh, and this actually manages not to earworm you with either song. Weird.)



Two songs that go really well together, and two people/groups that between them seem to have made a total of at least five videos for two songs. And they all kind of fit together, in small bits.



You have to go to the Hype Machine page to hear this one -- there's a "Play this track" button near the top of the page, well above the song title, which is just poor layout design if you ask me (which you didn't, but whatever). My own opinion is that the mashup makes the more recent song much much better. (Though one wonders what Jimi Hendrix would have to say about it. Also, truly hate that video.)

Did you ever run across one teeny tiny small thing in an episode or something that just bugged you so much you wanted to smack the people responsible? And you know it's tiny, and you know it's not meant the way they said it, and you still want to smack them?

In last night's episode of Glee, they made the students pair up with each other to sing ballads to each other, as it would be required at sectionals. Fine and dandy. And the students were paired randomly by picking names out of a hat, which allowed for people to be paired in hi-larious ways. The club has an interesting yet very Hollywood mix of apparent ethnicities -- a black boy and girl, Matt and Mercedes, and an Asian boy and girl, Tina and .... They have, interestingly enough, resisted the temptation to pair everyone up romantically along ethnic lines. So far, so good. For last night's episode, the black guy, Matt, was supposedly out sick, leaving Mr Schuester, the teacher, to pair off with the student who he discovered had a crush on him. Larf riot! And then Tina pulled a piece of paper out of the hat, and said: "Other Asian."

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Here's the thing: Glee club only has 12 students. They've been going for several weeks in the show's time. Mr Schu is practically neurotic about trying to be a good mentor to his students. You're telling me that after all this time, he wouldn't know the student's name? Moreover, he wouldn't know how humiliating it would be for that student to have it stated in public that the teacher couldn't remember the guy's name? Mind, it's also possible -- perhaps even probable -- that Tina said that on her own, as an insult to someone who might well have been one of her persecutors. Which ... OK, but in that case, the teacher should have said something. It shouldn't have passed unnoticed. And in either case, quite honestly, it feels vaguely like the powers that be were trying to avoid giving him a name because once he has a name, he'd actually maybe get lines, and the speaking cast is quite crowded already.

I suppose I shouldn't be terribly surprised. They screwed the pooch rather badly the last time they brought up anything like ethnic issues played for comedy, in the episode "Throwdown", but that was easier to get past, since they were trying to make a point -- albeit badly, and the point was actually quite quite wrong -- and the good intentions were practically glittering on their sleeves. (And, in fact, in light of later revelations about Sue Sylvester, the episode makes a great deal more sense ... though the point Schu makes is still quite quite wrong.) In "Ballad", this was just a small moment played straight up for comedy ... and they should have known better. Anyone thinking about it for a tenth of a second would have known better. It's not true to the characters as they've built them, it's not true to the situation, and it's wrong on its face. Plus, it's just plain not funny.

To be sure, last night's episode was wildly uneven. One thing they did right was showing other parents, finally, and how they react to the news that their children are going to have an untimely baby, which the entire school including faculty already knew. Finn's mother was hurt, but supportive; Quinn's parents threw her out. There's also the gay kid Kurt with a crush on Finn, and Finn having the brains of a flea (and, to be fair, being a teenager) has not the slightest idea how to handle it. And the actual crush plot with the teacher and student was handled fairly well, and done in one, which is good. And we will not speak of Mercedes' advice to Puck, which was not only wrongheaded, but possibly also wrong for the character as we've seen her built to date. (She seems to have very firm ideas about what's right and wrong, and to tell someone that they should just shut up about what's true in order to make life easier for someone else doesn't seem in character.) It wasn't, overall, a bad episode, and it had some very good moments in it.

But that "Other Asian" crack ... it still nags, for some reason. It's a tiny, small thing. I know this, I absolutely know it. It just ... vexes me.

It vexes me, you hear?