Detective 854/855 (Greg Rucka/JH Williams III/Dave Stewart):

...Good lord, this thing is gorgeous!

OK, OK, story first: We finally get the Batwoman series that we've long been promised, as she takes over 'Tec in the absence of Bruce Wayne. And right away, we see her in action in a way that shows us both the similarities and differences between Kathy Kane's Batwoman and the other members of the Bat family. She brings Rush to ground in an alley somewhere, and demands that he tell her what's going on with the religion of crime. He refuses, because he knows they'll kill him. At this point, most likely, Bruce (and possibly Dick) would have threatened him with even greater bodily harm if he didn't tell; Batwoman instead promises him that she'll protect him, and for some reason, he believes that she can. It's oddly comforting and seductive at the same time. There's also an interesting encounter with Batman -- version deliberately unspecified -- in which he grumps about her hair length and then takes off.

Next morning, Kathy goes to breakfast with putative girlfriend Anna, who promptly dumps her because she's consistently unavailable at night; the last straw was that Anna couldn't reach her last night, and Kathy looks like she hasn't slept -- as indeed she hasn't -- from which Anna draws entirely the wrong conclusion. Kathy then goes back to her place, where her father the Colonel is serving as her version of Alfred. We get a bare hint of what happened to her back when the Religion of Crime originally kidnapped her and tried to sacrifice her -- a shadow of an origin story, as it were. Kathy pulls together the clues to discover where the heads of the Religion's covens are meeting their new head. Said person, it turns out, is the loopiest criminal in town since perhaps the Joker, which is saying something. She presents herself as Alice, of Wonderland and Looking Glass fame, and every line out of her mouth is a somehow nonetheless entirely appropriate line from one of Carroll's books -- though not always one of Alice's lines, I think. 'Tec 854 ends with Batwoman meeting Alice, and 855 is a hard leadout from that, essentially an issue long fight sequence of sorts. During the fight, Kathy discovers the hard way that Alice hides razor blades in her mouth when she's cut with one that proves to be poisoned with some sort of hallucinogen. She goes staggering off into the nearby woods; meanwhile, back at BatLoft Central, the Colonel sees on his computer that follows her that his daughter's vital signs have suddenly taken a turn for the worse, so he grabs a few semiautomatic weapons and heads out after her. Somehow, he gets where she is more or less in time -- there's absolutely no sense of how long things are taking, since Kathy is hallucinating and herself has no sense of time. She's also remembering some of what happened during her earlier kidnapping. The Colonel arrives and starts shooting -- somehow managing not to kill anyone, possibly deliberately -- but it looks like Alice and her minions are about to get the upper hand when something unexpected happens at the story's end. Honestly, the story is a bit of a sine wave at this point; an outstanding first issue followed by an OK second issue that seems to be concerned with a lot of backstory and getting a few things in place.

The artwork on this story is, from beginning to end, truly spectacular. Williams does some really interesting things with frame composition and line length to visually separate Batwoman from Kathy Kane. Batwoman's part of the story only rarely has square frames of story, and even when she does, the borders and gutters are all black to the edges of the page. Much more frequently, her part of the story has a very different framing and flow, with a surprising number of two page spreads with unusual shapes and layout. Because the rest of her art is so dark -- night time, black costumes, dark places, etc. -- the line weight on her part of the drawing is much lighter weight. Dave Stewart is doing some incredible things with color throughout both sections, the more faded colors of the background with Batwoman -- making her reds and blacks pop out of the page -- and the vivid colors throughout for Kathy Kane's section.

Detective 854, Batwoman and Rush

By contrast, the Kathy Kane sections are lighter, airier -- despite a much heavier and distinct line weight -- and have a more traditionally structured page visually.



Unfortunately, after six issues (I think), we get a planned break in both art and story, shifting to a different artist for a couple of issues before Williams comes back to finish the "Elegy" story arc, and then a shift again to another artist.

Detective also has a backup 8-pager, featuring the new(ish) Question, Renee Montoya, Kathy Kane's former lover. Montoya investigates the disappearance of an illegal immigrant whose brother paid for her to come north to the US. She vanished before he ever saw her. When Victor asked the person he paid to bring her where she was, he got a serious beatdown for his trouble, along with a warning not to ask again, at which point he went to the Question's website and asked for help. Renee begins to look into things, and of course not only do things look bad right off the bat, but the investigation hits a few hitches almost immediately. Since this is a shorter chunk of story, it's actually faster paced, hitting plot points a bit faster. Honestly, it feels like a comics version of a Republic serial, except that it's monthly and not weekly. Even with a less satisfying amount of story, it's still gripping and involving, and Cully Hammer is doing some really good artwork on this. (Something of a side note, but I'd really love to know how Renee got out of being the head of the Religion of Crime. At the end of "The Crime Bible", she's just managed, despite her best efforts, to land the title, so she's the head of a group that doesn't take no for an answer. And yet, as we see in the main story, that mantle's been somehow passed to Alice, leaving Renee improbably still alive and kicking.)

Highly recommended.


Wonder Woman 34 (Simone/Lopresti)

In which we finally finally get past "Rise of the Olympian" ... sort of. And past Genocide ... mostly.

Diana starts out this issue in the arctic, communing with a mama polar bear and her cub on what she's been through -- the fight with Genocide that she thinks is done (if only she knew), having to renounce her people, her family, her home. She is, for Diana, a bit down in the dumps, understandably. (More about that later, I think.) She goes back home, only to be alerted by the gorilla tribe in her apartment (that will never fail to be entertainingly weird, somehow) that Nemesis is trying to get in touch with her -- yet more unfinished business, she thinks. And it is, except that it's Genocide; apparently she's still alive, sort of. It's somehow involved with underground metahuman extremely extreme fighting, about which Diana knows nothing, so she asks Black Canary to help. And they then go jaunting off in relative disguise -- using, as Dinah puts it, the "second most famous bosoms in the world after Power Girl" (and that Diana doesn't know this, despite having been enbustiered in man's world for nearly 20 years in the current revision, is just mindboggling) as auxiliary weapons. They get to the site, and their disguise gets them into the fights, which they win more or less handily, after faking some difficulties. And then, at the end, someone who wants revenge against Diana, for something she did not in fact do, appears. Meanwhile, back on Themiscyra, the Olympians' attempt to take over from the Amazons is not going terribly well, so clearly neither the Olympian story nor the Genocide story is going to be done any time soon.

The story, compared to the past few months, is comparatively light and functional. It sets a few things in play and reminds us that a few other things need to be dealt with, while still giving us a break from the fairly dark storyline of recent issues. And the relief is much appreciated. (Something of a side note, but I wonder what the current story behind Diana's costume is? During the "bosoms" segment, Dinah teases Diana about her patriotic star spangled briefs, and Diana says that's a misinterpretation, that people just assume that it was meant to do with the US flag. However, in the original concept of the character, it was meant to do with the US flag; her costume was meant to echo American symbols, because she was being sent here as ambassador. Given that she no longer has an eagle clutching the second most famous bosoms, things have clearly changed.)

Now ... let me just say that I'm not a continuity wonk. Not really. But that said ... I do keep wondering when, if ever, this title will acknowledge that Final Crisis even happened. After all, Wonder Woman was the first of the heroes to fall, after Mary Marvel; her mind was taken over by Darkseid and/or his minions, and her body was used against people to enforce his orders. I'm not saying that there should be a full issue of Diana weeping and wailing and railing against her fate, but it does seem like there should be something. A memory of something she did that she regrets. People she's trying to help pulling away or hiding because they remember what she did -- maybe she even did something directly to them. Other superheroes looking at her warily. Something.

As far as I can tell, the group of titles that really acknowledges that Final Crisis even happened are the Bat titles and, to some extent, JSA and JLA. Given that Bruce Wayne got removed from the field and the Marvel family were still suffering some of the aftereffects, they have no choice in the matter. And of course, there's the Final Crisis Aftermath set -- though, one might also note, the Escape title makes no sense so far as a Final Crisis related title, since almost nobody in it played any sort of major role. And, of course, in theory, that title should feed back into Wonder Woman at some point, unless maybe Escape is supposed to take place after they break up.


Buffy the Vampire Slayer #27 (Jane Espensen/Georges Jeanty): In which we continue with the slayers being alienated from society due to the success of Harmony and her realiy program. We also see Oz, who's settled down, gotten even more zen, met up with someone, had a kid. And we see Twilight and friends unsuccesfully trying to locate Buffy and the slayerettes for further beatdowns. And that's ... really about it, actually. It's an issue that's designed to get people to places for the next issue. OK.
So, yeah, you remember that list that I was going to do way way way way back when of interesting queer comics of 2008? Well, here it is! Finally! Only a few months late!

(NB: the link to Media Relations is included below purely for the sake of completeness; the article is posted here and in its entirety.)

Media Relations: the fun queer comics of 2008: the honorably mentioned

Looking back at notable queer comics published, either in print or on the web, in 2008. The criteria for "queer" is relatively loose, but relates only to content: some sort of relevant appearance by/use of queer characters and themes -- lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgenter, etc. It had to mean something to the story, but it didn't have to be about any given queer aspect. It didn't have to be about coming out, or angsting over being or not being gay, or anything like that. As you'll see, the main characters didn't need to be the ones who were themselves queer. And people didn't have to be uplifting or relentlessly honorable -- some of them are not at all nice.

For this first part, we have the honorable mentions, or, Stuff that didn't make the main final list, but is still worth a look:

Adam and Andy by James Asal:

As the title states, it's about Adam and Andy, long time partners (... Who may have last names, but I don't have the slightest idea what they are.) They have a house in the suburbs (...I think), and seem to be living the gay American Dream. We see them at work, at home, at play, their friends and neighbors. We see how they've been changing -- one of the running jokes is about how they're no longer the hardbodies they used to be, despite the workout equipment in the basement. It's a sweet, gentle story.

Structurally, more or less a weekly gag strip. Asal's been expanding the strip in different directions over the past year, so the story has been flexing and changing quite a lot. Updated weekly, the continuing storylines move veeeerrrry sloooooowly. It's fun and it's a good read, it just takes a while to get where it's going. It's not terribly difficult to keep track, in part because Asal has relatively few characters and keeps the focus on an individual storyline until it's run its course. (That said, long-running storylines per se are a fairly new thing to this particular strip.)


The Alcoholic (Jonathan Ames/Dean Haspiel; DC/Vertigo)
In which we learn about the life and times of Jonathan A, who may or may not be Ames. It's basically the story of A's life in alcoholic fits and starts. We start in 2001, where A comes out of an alcohol blackout in a car with a much older woman, with whom he may or may not have had sex. We then flash back to the beginning of his drinking days as a teenager, when he used to hang out with his best friend Sal. They loved each other, in that intense and romantic way that adolescents do, and eventually more or less accidentally have sex with each other. Unfortunately, it seems to throw both of them off balance; Sal reacts by pushing A to the margins of his life, and A reacts by drinking to bury the pain of being pushed away from his closest friend. And somehow ... he just never really stops drinking. He goes into rehab, but that doesn't quite stick. He has some spectacularly disastrous relationships with women -- there was never any particular doubt that he's more or less straight, after a certain amount of understandable early floundering. And eventually -- far too late -- he meets Sal again, under some very changed circumstances. But this isn't a story about that meeting, particularly; that's just one event in a very appallingly eventful life. It's really the story of A and his addiction to alcohol -- and later, other drugs -- and how that wreaks havoc on the rest of his life.

I really love Haspiel's art. It's a bit less angular, I think, than his style for his Billy Dogma stories, and a bit more detailed. There are places where I'm not entirely sure it's a fit for the story as a whole -- frankly, there are several times where it seems more interesting and dynamic than the story it's helping to tell.

As a whole, The Alcoholic is an interesting story of a life gone out of balance. It does leave you wondering if A can ever permanently dig himself out of the morass he's made for himself ... and, to the extent that A is or is not based on Ames himself, how much of all of that really happened.


Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Various writers and artists; Dark Horse)
I actually thought the storyline in which Buffy winds up sleeping with Satsu was pretty well handled. Buffy tried to avoid her, knowing that Satsu was quietly in love with her and that she couldn't return Satsu's feelings, but then winds up falling into bed with her mostly because she's desperately lonely, and Satsu cares. Given that she got involved with Spike, who should have been staked seasons ago, and with Riley who got himself involved with vampires, a one-night stand with Satsu really barely registers on Buffy's bad romantic/sexual decisions index. And the part where they decide not to tell anyone, followed almost immediately by a parade of people with urgent business coming into Buffy's bedroom, was well-done comedy. The part where Willow grilled Satsu on Buffy's bedroom skills, not so much. Satsu eventually -- eventually -- winds up coming out of the relationship just fine, once she accepts that she and Buffy Will Never Be.

In more fun tales of lesbians elsewhere, we discover that we haven't seen Kennedy because Willow's been trying to keep her out of the way, someplace where she won't get captured or killed ... well, on the one hand, given Willow's romantic history, it's understandable. On the other, given that Kennedy's a slayer who was in on the last apocalypse, it's kind of unbelievable, as well, both that Willow would do that, and that Kennedy would tolerate it as long as she does. So something good, something not so good, but as a whole, still noteworthy.


Kyle's Bed and Breakfast by Greg Fox:
basically a soap opera, telling us of the lives of the many people who flow in and out of Kyle's Bed and Breakfast. I really like this strip. It has a fairly diverse cast, and the artwork is generally very good -- though the art can get a bit strange. (Seriously, this strip just looks odd. Breyer's not-really-sleeping position looks weirdly stiff -- though I think that may be deliberate -- and in the final frame, his head looks like it's about to come right off. I'd also note that the entire strip is about an argument that we never saw, which is awkward storytelling for characters you don't see that often.)

The comic updates once every two weeks, more or less, and it's got a cast far too large for its update frequency. (Understand that I am not saying, "Oh, woe is we! Why doesn't he do that five days a week? Then we could have all the comic goodness we want!" Seriously, the guy's got a life, and this don't pay the bills. I get that, really.) The cast page doesn't include most of the characters and the older archives were taken offline to put into the book, so you have no real way of figuring out who people are in context, no way to quickly remember, "Oh, yeah, that's how the guy in the wheelchair came into the story." Especially given that it does take place in a bed and breakfast -- you have both a certain amount of regular cast, but also a reasonably high rate of turnover, because that's what a B&B does -- it can be very difficult to figure out who's connected to who, who's permanent and who's a guest, what the heck is going on, and who is that guy in the green sweater on the far right, anyway?


Punch an' Pie by Aeire and Chris Daily:
I wanted to include this one on the main list, so, so much. I really like this series, primarily about a young woman learning to be on her own and her varied and sundry friends and their lives. But ... but there really wasn't any technically appropriate content in 2008. In 2007, yes. That year, Angela and Heather had a relationship that eventually came a-cropper over Angela's persistent and unwarranted jealousy issues. In 2008, however, while neither of them was precisely over the relationship, they didn't really gotten involved with anyone else, either; the storyline focused on friends and jobs and other things. They're just getting on with the rest of their lives. Plus, to the extent that anything seems to be happening, Heather's had a couple of apparent rebound flings with Aiden, which is, you know, all heterosexual and stuff.


Shortpacked by David Willis:
fun and wacky hijinx of a retail toy store, featuring a gay guy who only figured that out a couple of years ago, the virgin and "my lesbian", and an apparently bisexual asshole. Oh, and Faz. It's fun to read, it's just ... well. One could send the "Mike sleeps with everyone for revenge over uncommitted slights" storyline to GLAAD and watch their heads explode. (Oh, the temptation...) And yet ... it does have its weirdly sweet moments, every now and again. Of course, they never end well...


Sleazy Pizza (Ryan Roman; act-i-vate.com; adult and NSFW due to depictions of sex and nudity)

Originally, I was going to put this on the main list. I really do think it's a facinating, trippy, well-drawn comic. That said, it's hard to disagree with the author's assertion that it became "chaotic and disjointed" near the end of what I think of as the first volume. (I liked it anyway. In part because I just plain like Roman's artwork, but in part because I wanted to see where he was going to take it next, and how it could possibly work.)

Sleazy Pizza tells the story of Nolan and J.J., starcrossed lovers if ever there were any. Though it doesn't seem that way at first. They find each other, they start a relationship ... and then it goes bad, and they break up. Nolan realizes that he's made a horrible mistake and tries to find J.J. again, but all of J.J's friends are hiding him from Nolan. Eventually, Nolan gets someone to tell him where to find J.J. -- at a certain cost to Nolan and the other guy both -- and their relationship begins again. And then it suddenly veers and turns into a sort of sequel to Roman's earlier comic "Kid Zero". ("Kid Zero" has the most fascinatingly grand guignol ending -- and middling and occasional other goriness -- of a superhero comic that I've ever seen. I'd link to the ending, but unfortunately, it's on act-i-vate's livejournal site, and act-i-vate's LJ archive is a mess. This is the last part I can find, with links to all the earlier parts, but I'm not sure it's the actual end, as I remember it. But I digress.)

Seriously, though, some of the places where you can see it kind of heading into odd territory are really interesting and well-done. You even got occational outbreaks of Meat Loaf, sort of. Any road, Roman seems to be reeling the comic back in -- sort of -- with the current volume, and, weirdly, has maintained the fascinatingly trippy tone even though the story is more grounded so far. The current volume seems to be about actions that have consequences, even though you may not have been in full control of your actions at the time. It'll be interesting to see where it goes.



Coming up next: the main list! (Do not even think about asking when "next" is.)
Holmes (Omaha Perez; AIT/Planet Lar graphic novel): A story of Sherlock Holmes, narrated by John Watson. Perfectly normal, right? Exactly what you expect a Holmes story to be ... only not quite. In this case, we discover that HOlmes is seriously into drugs and may or may not be a touch unbalanced, and Watson is a man of mighty mighty appetites, who manages to clean up the stories considerably to present the both of them in a much better light before committing the stories to print. In this case, the skull of composer Joseph Haydn is stolen from a graveyard (a true event), and somehow winds up in London. Holmes immediately fixates on Moriarty as a possible suspect in the theft. Along the way to the solution, we make stops in the British Museum (it gets broken -- again), a bar with Holmes in very very bad drag, an opium den, a brothel (Watson is not only a man of mighty appetites, he also has -- to be a bit Victorian about it -- a mighty truncheon and he likes to use it), and of course back on Baker Street, where we discover that Mrs Hudson is a very longsuffering landlady indeed. The highly stylized art works well to convey the inner insanity of the story, and it's a fun read from beginning to end. A Very Good story.

Dan Dare #5 "The lights of a perverted science" (Garth Ennis/Gary Erskine; Virgin): In which Dan Dare is just as noble as you think he is, Sub-Commander Christian begins to have a teensy bit more confidence in herself and the very good decisions she's made lately, and we see that teleporting into an unknown space can be a truly awful idea (in a scene that somehow manages to be horrifying and a little funny, all at once). Ennis does this sort of old-style space opera really well, updating it ina way that manages to let you know what the appeal was at the time and still making it work today. Excellent.

Anna Mercury #1 (Warren Ellis/Facundo Percio):

Anna Mercury is an agent for Launchpad, whatever that is, in New Ataraxia. She wears a suit that provides an induction field that she is under strict instructions not to use on people, so of course, she does it all the time. Sheol City seems to have secceded from New Ataraxia, which has taken that very badly, testfiring "the gun" on the bridge to Sheol. Anna has to figure out a way to prevent the gun from being lifted to Pendragon Moon, or to disable it, so that it can't be used against all of Sheol City. In the meantime, it turns out... well. I can't tell you that part, or it gives away the whole game. Let's just say that the last page realigns everything that you think you've seen.

The artwork and production design are seriously gorgeous. It's sort of Twenties, Art-Deco inflected. Anna Mercury herself has the most amazing masses of red hair. Anna Mercury herself is ... she reminds me of someone, the way she acts, but I can't quite figure out who it is. She's quite assured and self-confident, very take-no-prisoners attitude, and doesn't tolerate any sort of dissension from people on her own side.

Ellis and Percio have created a very interesting and dynamic world. It's going to be interesting to see where they're going to take it. (And, honestly, I'm looking forward to the issue 2 explanation that's certain to follow, given that last page.) Excellent; highly recommended.


Project: Superpowers #2 (but really #3) (Alex Ross, Jim Krueger/Carlos Paul; Dynamite):
In which the story moves along briskly. The Black Terror joins the fight on the rooftop against Dynamic Forces, and other heroes start appearing around the world. It's a lot of fun, and gorgeous to look at. That said, the cover is seriously misleading; the Death-Defying Devil and the Flame are the latest heroes to appear, but they're not the focus of the story, with maybe five or six total pages of the whole devoted to them. Very Good; Recommended.

However, herewith a small note: This title desperately needs a new logo. A logo that actually said "Project Superpowers" might be nice. (It gets shelved under S in the store I go to, which threw me at first; shouldn't it be under P? But no, because of that near-invisible S in the middle of the cover.) A larger, more distinctive logo that doesn't get lost when you've got a background of similar colors, as with this issue, would be good. A logo that's at least as prominent as the subsidiary character logos that have been appearing on each issue would be good. For that matter, if they're going to put characters and their logo on the cover, it would be a good idea if they actually appeared in more than a quarter of the story.


Kick-Ass #2 (Mark Millar/John Romita; Marvel Icon): In which Dave spends most of the issue recovering from the titanic beatdown he got last issue -- including being stabbed, being hit by a car, and a broken spine, resulting in a very long hospital stay, a very long rehabilitation at home, and terribly spectacular hospital bills -- and then, having recovered, he goes out and does it all again, and gets beat up again. Honestly, the character is kind of incomprehensible at this point. He spends most of the issue upset about what he's put his father through, deciding that he's never going to be that stupid again, and then he goes out and does it all over again, because he can't stop. Apparently, being a very non-super hero is an addiction. Who knew? All that said, the story is weirdly compelling -- kind of like a train wreck. You kind of want to understand why he does what he does, but at the same time, it's hard to care, because he's being such an IDIOT. I honest have no idea whether or not I'm going to pick up issue 3 at this point. It's hard to care about a human of very little brain, you know?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer #13 "Wolves at the Gate, part 2" (Drew Goddard/Georges Jeanty; Dark Horse): Honestly, this is the first issue where I thought that the plot went CLANK, as though they were moving pieces because they needed people to be in a particular place at a particular time, and they sort of had to get them there through brute force. I mean, we discover that after Anya's death, Xander needed some "man time", so he went to stay with Dracula for a while. Right. He went to stay with a person whose defining characteristic in their relationship was that he controlled Xander's mind. And apparently, the thing between Robin Wood and Faith must have ended almost immediately, since he wasn't around to help with the whole "man time" issue. Elsewhere, Willow grills Buffy's booty call about what Buffy was like in the sack which ... no. Just ... no. All this seems to be in aid of getting the slayer army to Tokyo and out of the castle, to set up ... whatever it's setting up. Jeanty's artwork is perfectly good, but the writing doesn't serve it well. Really not a great issue.

Dave Stewart's Zombie Broadway (David Harris, Christine Schenley/Devaki Neogi; Virgin):

A 56-page one-shot that's very ... well, it's ... it tries to ... look, it's a hot mess, ok? But it's a fun hot mess!

Somehow, some way, New York -- and apparently only New York -- has been attacked by a zombie plague disease. People catch it through physical contact with the zombies -- usually through the odd chomp. (Strangely, these zombies seem a bit less BRAAAAIN-centric than most of their type.) New York is down to two thousand people, and the president is about to order a nuclear strike on the city to get rid of all the zombies -- and somewhat incidentally, the surviving humans -- when it's discovered that music does, indeed, soothe the savage breast. That is, zombies seem to respond to music. And the director convinces the president to let him try to save the city by putting on a musical! ... no, really, that's what happens. Think "Andy Hardy" on a really big scale, only instead of a gung-ho farm boy, Andy is a sort of jaded soldier, and Judy Garland's ingenue is ... well, an ingenue, only with less actual singing. The conservative military and other people want to just go ahead and nuke the liberal sons-of-bitches off the earth anyway, but the president thinks they should give it a chance. We have a couple of romances (sort of), the damaged military veteran who may be looking for a reason to live or a way to die, the plucky ingenue, the jaded star, the slightly corrupt director in lust with the jaded star and possibly others ... really, all the stock characters are there.

You know those B-movies that SciFi televises? Those movies that are so desperately tacky that they sometimes give the very concept of "B-movies" a bad name? This aims kind of south of that. Maybe a D-movie. (But given the co-production agreement between Virgin Comics and SciFi, I wouldn't be terribly astonshed to see this become one of their movies.) The artwork fits the story, and it's a breezy fun read. Just, you know, not a story to think too much about. OK, but fun.
With spoilers a-go-go, no doubt, so let's stick the whole thing behind a cut.

Included: Buffy season 8 #1, Girls 22, Dynamo 5 #1, maybe a few other things.

Insert Buffy opening theme music ... HERE. )
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